Broken Clock

"Pick a star, any star," he said, but he never came back. Also, he said he would fix my broken clock that rests on the fireplace. The Doctor, he said. The world saver, my Doctor, my lover.

My healer.

Since that day, I waited. Five minutes, the blonde girl said. Even not a complete five minutes will pass for them, while for me, the one on the slow path, it's been years.

Oh, my Doctor, my healer, where are you? I am still waiting, my lover. It's me, do you remember me? The girl in the fireplace? Why don't you come back?

My world is in danger, Doctor. I am still scared, my Love.

Don't be scared, he said.

Just hold my hand, Reinette, you can do it.

Can I, Doctor? Can I do it, alone?

I can't sleep, my Doctor. I grow old; I am not who I was before. Madame de Pompadour, that's me. Reinette Poisson, the girl you met in the fireplace, it's not me anymore.

Still brave, as you remember me, as you should always remember me. But, my Doctor, I am getting older every day.

Looking at the stars now, I can no longer see you. Where are you? Why are you not coming back? You promised, you told me to pick a star and I did. Oh my Doctor, I am still waiting.

Days are going by, passing over my face like the wind. I still remember you, you with the Scottish accent. My imaginary friend from my childhood, I still remember the day you came back, heroically breaking that mirror... You were my knight on the white horse.

I keep you in my mind, remember you always when Louis touches me. I don't ever stop hearing the tick-tock of the broken clock, those noises. It's all clear now, you're returning when I am in danger, aren't you?

What if... What if I put myself in danger, my love? Will you come back to save me?

Oh, arrête, Reinette. Stop it. He will never come back, never. He walked away, and your hopes walked away with him, just deal with the mess. You will never meet him again, will never feel his bare skin on yours, will never feel his lips under yours.

So soft.

Don't go anywhere, don't go so far, girl. You don't have to wait, you can stop now. Rest in peace, love. You can let your head sink in the pillow, close your eyes. You can sleep now, he's not going to come back, ever.

Silly you, like the broken clock, still trying to tick-tock. Silly Reinette for believing in legends. Silly Reinette for living in an imaginary world. Comparing harsh reality to sweet dreams, to the Doctor.

You can stop pretending, Reinette. Just write to him.

Take the inkwell, write about your life. Write to him, all the things you did after he left. Your feelings, your thoughts, your desires.

He didn't come back for you, so what does it matter now? You are dying. Young and old at the same, happy and sad - both. Still believing he will be back, but she must be not on her mind.

Just drop it, you say to yourself.

Just let it go, stop being the broken clock on the fireplace.

The one with the big hole in her heart.

The one who waited so long, and still doesn't stops to wait.

To wait for the one, your world saver, your lover - your Doctor…

Your healer. So fragile, so lonely. So sad, so funny. So many things, you can never count or tell, he's hers…

Let it out, Girl in the fireplace. Let the broken clock be fixed, or die alone – your decision is made.

"And there she goes. Leaving Versailles for the last time." King Louis said goodbye his love, the king left alone. He looks out the window while he talks to the Doctor, her imaginary friend who came back.

Why now?

There's no broken clock to fix, not now - when she left.

He passes him the envelope she left, and the man leaves. Like they always did, they always leave the king alone, all alone.

My Dear Doctor,

The path has never seemed so slow, and yet I fear I am nearing its end. Reason tells me that you and I are unlikely to meet again, but I think I shall not listen to reason. I have seen the world inside your head and know that all things are possible. Hurry though, my love. My days grow shorter now and I am so very weak.

God speed, my lonely angel.

So she wrote, so she left.